Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
