just come out here and I will go home with you...
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
