a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
