This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
