I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
