Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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