I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
