If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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