He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
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