drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
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