ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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