I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
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