So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Randomize
