she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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