I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
