how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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