I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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