don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
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