I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
