Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
