It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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