My nipple is on Facebook.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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