Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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