She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
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