Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
