He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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