i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
