you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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