What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
