No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
