i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
