I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I cut my penus on the lid.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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