Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I lost the right to judge tonight
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
