I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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