just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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