y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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