oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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