i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
