You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Never joke about your clitoris.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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