in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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