hotel room ftw
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
