watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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