i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
