I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
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