i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
