I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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