no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
apparently the secret to your success is patron
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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