Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Randomize
