I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
