Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
