i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
