That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
