Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
