we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
