How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
